No Mums Allowed, Ever!!! Ghanaian Young Adolescents’perceptions Of Their Relationship With Their Parents.

In most societies, mothers invest more time in being physically and emotionally available to their children than fathers. Therefore, for most children, the relationship with their mothers is the most important in their lives for many years. However, in adolescence and thus in the struggle for their own identity, young people have to reshape their family relations and thus their relations with their mothers to become autonomous subjects. In a study with children (aged 10-13 years) in Winneba, Ghana, they were asked to write an essay about their fantasies regarding an ideal childhood. Envisioning their ideal life as a child, they repeatedly addressed—among other issues—their relationship with their mothers and fathers with regard to availability (i.e., time together), financial or emotional support, responsibility, and (in)dependence. Using selected examples from the essays that were analyzed using the documentary method, we discussed the following issues and questions in this paper: What do children imagine to be an ideal relationship with their parents? What are the characteristics and differences in the children’s conceptualization of a perfect mother, and an ideal father? How do they imagine ideal gender relations? In addition, we examined what these ideals can tell us about their perceptions and experiences with family, cross-generational, and gender-specific relationships in their current life in Ghana. Among others, the findings show that young adolescents define ideal parents, predominantly, with images of availability. Although egalitarianism is portrayed as the best family structure, with domestic chores, traditional gender roles are mostly favored. 

Keywords: fantasy, ideal childhood, adolescents’ perception, parents, gender relations, availability